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CINEMATASTICA 2015: The Good, The Bad, and The Meh


2015 is over and done with, and you know what that means! For the next few weeks literally every site with even the slightest connection to film in any capacity will be putting out their top ten lists. The best movies, the worst movies, and the rest.

This is also going to be the first in a new bloggy type thing I'm going to be doing: CINEMATASTICA (logo pending my getting off my arse). What's it going to be? Well, movie related stuff. Top ten lists, reviews, all that fun stuff. The plan is to start doing some video features tied into this, but that's a bit down the road yet. In the mean time, more of these should start appearing to fill those lonely gaps between POW and NAM.

I guess I should have given this a name I could turn into an acronym. POW, NAM, and now... C. Damn it. Oh well, can't win them all. But you can try! And fail.

At any rate, here's my "year end list of opinion" to toss on the pile of internet criticism because I KNOW THINGS AND YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO WHAT I HAS TO SAYS.

I don't know things. I just watch a lot of movies. Keeping in mind, there are a lot I haven't seen yet. In the Heart of the Sea and Mojave were two I was looking forward to. The Visit and The Ridiculous 6 were two I was not looking forward to, but I still need to see them. Because if I don't suffer, who will? You will. Because you watched the ludicrously racist Adam Sandler "comedy."

Shall we begin?


Pretty good year this year, lots of good stuff. Not only that, the majority of it was science fiction. Science fiction drama, action, horror, even romance. In fact, now that I look at it, only a few of my list aren't science fiction or some sort of high concept type deal. Most were pretty set in stone from the start, no big surprises.

The ones that DID surprise were American Ultra, Ant-Man, and Mission: Impossible. Ultra I'd put off watching after hearing mediocre things, then gave it a whirl and absolutely loved it. It's weird, ultra violent, and the two leads work quite well together (one of the big reasons I enjoy Adventureland as much as I do). Ant-Man was similar to Guardians of the Galaxy for me: something smaller and more focused after a parade of never ending and always increasing special effects films. And Mission: Impossible was like a greatest hits of the franchise, taking elements we've seen before but doing them better than they've been done before. By far the best the series has offered thus far.

Honorable Mentions: Inside Out, Bone Tomahawk, Jurassic World, San Andreas, Tremors 5, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Tales of Halloween, Straight Outta Compton, Ingrid Bergman In Her Own Words


In no particular order, because they were all rather terrible. Some are worse that others. Say, for example, Exeter, probably the worst horror movie of the year. No, not probably, most definitely. At least of the ones I saw. Or Fantastic Four, a movie I feel bad putting on this list because it genuinely felt like it had some good ideas buried beneath the garbage. Whether or not the stories of the behind the scenes drama are true, we'll likely never know, so all we can judge it on is what it is now. And what it is is bad.  Or Area 51, the long awaited movie that we shouldn't have awaited so long. Special mention has to go to Terminator: Genisys, which managed to kill off its own reboot in just one film despite all the hype. That takes skill.

It Follows is probably the only surprise, even though it didn't quite make the main list. After first watch I thought it was quite good, but after a couple more viewings the holes become evident. And they are numerous. About the only thing I liked each time was the music, and that's not enough to sell me on a movie.

Dishonorable Mentions: Lake Placid Vs. Anaconda, Krampus: The Reckoning, Muck, It Follows


The_Meh are movies that... meh. They weren't bad, but they weren't good. They just sort of were. I went in with limited expectations, and left a few hours later. That's about it. Maybe I wasn't in the right mood when I saw them. Maybe I'm just bitter and jaded. Either way, none of these had any major impact either way. Harbinger Down very nearly made the Worst list, but was saved by a hair's breadth because of its effects and a couple of characters I enjoyed. Spectre and Star Wars might seem surprising, but for both of them the elements were better than the sum.

Meh-ntions: Night of the Living Deb, Pixels, Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!,

So there you have it. Maybe next year I'll do a video. Stay tuned and see how quickly I throw together a year end list for 2016, coming 2017! Or whenever!