Cinematastica

Late Night Movie Night: The Ridiculous Six!

Okay folks, I've been putting it off, let's do it. We're watching #TheRidiculousSix God kill me now please, I don't care which one.

People ask me "Why do you watch such bad movies?" It's because no one tells me not too. Also, when they do, I ignore them. #TheRidiculousSix

Less than a minute in, already called them redskins and injuns.

Oh GOD no Adam Sandler dressed like an "injun" so he doesn't get scalped... Jesus...

Please don't rape the "injun princess"... please stop having an "injun princess." Please stop. Just stop.

Poca-hot-tits. No comment.

I think they've almost run out of "injun" jokes. There are OH FUCK ALMOST TWO HOURS?! HOW LONG IS THIS MOVIE!?

This movie does not need to be two hours long. It should not be two hours long. IT IS TWO HOURS LONG. #TheRidiculousSix

Smokin' Fox is his wife's name? Of course it is.

Of course the white dude is the best at indian-ing. #TheRidiculousSix

Hahaha injuns are broke and need money. When are we getting the jokes about alcoholism? #TheRidiculousSix

Never-Wears-Bra. Jesus. I might not be able to finish this. This is some kind of terrible. #TheRidiculousSix

It's not even so bad it's funny. It's boring. Boring and tone deafly offensive. #TheRidiculousSix

A donkey just had explosive diarrhea. Honestly I'm surprised it took so long. #TheRidiculousSix

And again. In someone's face. #TheRidiculousSix

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #TheRidiculousSix

Fuck it, naptap. I need a break to power through this one. #TheRidiculousSix

Naptap? Nap TIME. Lordy. Seventy five minutes to go!

*I PROCEED TO NAP UNTIL 4 AM*

Okay, I napped for about 24 hours. Let's get to watching the second half of #TheRidiculousSix

Thirty seconds into #TheRidiculousSix and FUUUUUUUCK

HAHAHA the dumb guy is getting a blowjob from the donkey--NOPE, jokes, it's just eating a carrot! HAHAHA no really he's getting a blowjob.

You know that time Family Guy parodied What's Eating Gilbert Grape, but with exaggerated squirrels? That is Taylor Lautner's character.

Why, Steve Buscemi? What does Adam Sandler have that you want to keep secret so badly? #TheRidiculousSix

Doctor put his hand up a donkey's ass then put it in Taylor Lautner's mouth. Taylor Lautner enjoyed it. ...#TheRidiculousSix...

#TheRidiculousSix is so bad I've stopped chewing my food in hopes I choke to death.

WHY IS THERE A POSSESSED VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY?! #TheRidiculousSix

Harvey Keitel's head was just knocked off with a shovel--aaaand his body is still alive. Is it going to fart?

What the HELL is this baseball scene about?! #TheRidiculousSix

Lars Von Trier's Antichrist made more sense than this movie. #TheRidiculousSix

"We have a character who speaks gibberish, but we need to understand him now! What do we do?" "Fuck it, Indian magic." God damn it.

Mark Twain talks like a white boy who thinks he's bla--holy shit it's Vanilla Ice WHAT YEAR IS IT?! #TheRidiculousSix

Home Alone title drop during reference to Home Alone. Subtlety. #TheRidiculousSix

Steve Zahn actually seems to be trying. He is occasionally amusing. Never thought I would say this: You're better than this Steve Zahn.

Nick Nolte doesn't actually speak, he just vomits gravel. #TheRidiculousSix

Oh thank fuck it's over.

#TheRidiculousSix is one of those movies that sets up jokes, but never has a punchline.

It expects you to laugh at the fact it wants to tell a joke, not at actual jokes that are funny.

I think the worst part about #TheRidiculousSix is that I have already forgotten it. It's not even good at being bad.